The Target Debate

By now, I'm sure you've heard about people taking stances on one side or the other regarding Target's decision to make bathrooms gender neutral. So I'm just going to add my opinion to the pot, as well as an idea I have that is something of a compromise.



First, I think that having options for transgender people is important. Regardless of how you feel about transvestism as a whole, it is important to consider their needs as they are a part of our society and deserve to be treated as equal members. Personally, sharing a bathroom with a transgender person does not concern me.

My second point is that there are people who I very much do not want to share a bathroom with. Gender neutral bathrooms allow anyone to go anywhere. This means that potential sex offenders can legally enter restrooms previously meant for the opposite sex. That is absolutely terrifying.

We are thus faced with two important yet opposing sets of information. There is no perfect solution, but I have a potential idea. What if stores and other public places were to provide three restrooms? There would be a men's room, a women's room, and a neutral room. The third could either be full-sized or single-person, depending on how individual business owners gauge the size of the demand. I am aware that this would cost a good deal of money, but so would lawsuits regarding sexual assault.

Having a third bathroom gives an option to those who do not feel that they fit perfectly into one gender, and it also gives an option to those who are not comfortable with the idea. It would be unfair to tamper with the rights of a community which holds a strong presence in our nation, but it would be equally unfair to compromise the safety of all public restroom users. Again, there is no perfect solution, but in my not quite professional opinion there needs to be an answer somewhere in between the two extreme sides of this issue.

From Prison to College

I watched The Shawshank Redemption for the first time today. It is a wonderful, heartbreaking, and ultimately inspiring movie. But I'm not going to write a film review.
One of the most disturbing aspects of the movie was a gang of rapists who initially terrorized the protagonist. I consider all acts of sexual assault absolutely repugnant and inexcusable, regardless of whether the victim is male or female. Even after the character found a way to protect himself from these scumbags and the plot moved on, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. Jail-related jokes I've heard about dropping soap and becoming someone's b**** crashed around my head. My anger about comedy born from atrocities grew until I wasn't just thinking about abuse from within a prison; a meme saying, "No means yes and yes means anal" wouldn't leave my thoughts. Another realization wouldn't leave me alone:
What men fear most about having insufficient protection in a prison, girls fear most about not having sufficient protection on college campuses.
I'm starting college this fall, and I will be living on campus. Thoughts of protecting myself in potentially dangerous situations competes for brain space against searching for scholarships and maintaining my GPA on a daily basis. I was recently invited to a Damsels in Defense party, where I will have the opportunity to by pepper spray, pocket knives, and mini tasers. My first thought when I heard of this? "Wow, that's such a good idea!" I felt a surge of relief to discover that I had options, that I didn't have to go through this next step of my life as a sitting duck. I could feel some degree of control.
This should not be a top priority for me. I should be more concerned about whether I'll get along with my roommate, or how to work studying abroad into a four-year graduation plan. I'm angry that I don't live in a world where this can be my college experience.
The National Sexual Violence Research Center has found that one in five women and one in sixteen men are sexually assaulted while in college. About 90% of campus victims do not report the crime, which may partially be due to the lack of  help given to those who do report. According to the Center for Public Integrity, winner of the 2014 Pulitzer Prize, many schools do not file official crime reports for all reported cases. One article states the following:

"Nearly half of the 25 Clery complaint investigations conducted by the Education Department over the past decade determined that schools were omitting sexual offenses collected by some sources or failing to report them at all."

This is absolutely inexcusable. What's worse is that many schools do not follow through on consequences. In 2006, Indiana University suspended a rapist from school during the summer semester, during which he was unlikely to attend classes anyway. He was allowed to return to school in the fall. A yearlong investigation by the Center for Public Integrity interviewed 33 women who had reported sexual assault, as well as 50 experts on campus discipline. Examined were ten years worth of complaints filed against schools under Title IX and/or the Clery Act, a review of records from specific cases, and research into 152 clinics and crisis service programs which cater to college or university students.

"The probe reveals that students deemed “responsible” for alleged sexual assaults on college campuses can face little or no consequence for their acts.... For them, the trauma of assault can be compounded by a lack of institutional support, and even disciplinary action."

Often victims can't cope with everything that's happened, as well as being forced to interact with their attackers in what should be a safe environment. Many of those affected by the trauma drop out of school, and the perpetrators complete their educations.
Further research by the Center found that only 10--25% of alleged attackers face permanent expulsion when trialed by the schools. Just over half of the 33 interviewed students said that their assaulters were so much as found guilty; all but four of these cases led to minor suspensions and temporary probations.
So I spend money I'd like to save for textbooks on rape whistles and pepper spray. Because I know that if I don't protect myself, no one else will.

https://www.publicintegrity.org/2010/02/24/4360/lack-consequences-sexual-assault
http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf
https://www.publicintegrity.org/2009/12/02/9045/campus-sexual-assault-statistics-don-t-add

Dogs and Laws

I've recently been thinking about laws regarding animals. Specifically, what can happen to an animal that bit someone. 
My sister from another mister, who is from Mexico and who I won't name due to internet privacy, was shocked to hear how strict punishments for a dog bite can be here. I was explaining what would happen if one of our dogs were to do such a thing--lawsuits, putting down the animal, etc.--to explain why my family was so horrified that our puppy had burrowed under our fence and gotten into the neighbors yard. Nothing happened, but the little animal is going through a rough play phase where he bites and scratches in the name of fun. My friend said that she would expect us to pay for the bandages and any necessary medical treatments, if there were any, and that would be that.
I don't know how each individual country deals with violent animals. I just know about the US, so that's what I'll talk about. Here, if a dog bites someone, the owners can be sued and the dog can be put down with a quick finger snap. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. The only investigation would be as to which dog did the deed, not whether it was provoked.
This is significant because a kid could throw things at a dog, hit it, and call it names, but that would not matter in the slightest. The dog could have felt threatened, been defending itself, but because it's an animal the jury would rule against it. In the attempt to get rid of dangerous volatile animals, the judicial system has destroyed hope for innocents.
Now, I'm not an extreme animal rights nut. I'm not completely against animal testing (though I do think it should be far more strictly regulated) and I eat meat frequently. However, there are some things that just seem cruel. Animals are living creatures, and that will always warrant some degree of respect. I understand that it's very difficult to determine whether a dog, who can't verbally communicate with humans, is guilty. I just think that there has to be a better way to deal with the problem.

Look at these guys. They aren't vicious attack dogs, I promise. If the littler one was nipping at someone's hand, trying to goad them into playing, would he deserve death? I don't think so.

Bittersweet

If only I had a nickel for every time I'd heard someone say, "I wish you would know what the good old days are while you're still living them."
I've been trying to appreciate the moments I'm living while they're happening. And I'm realizing that any good days are going to be bittersweet. I was just out on a late night adventure with my friends. I went with someone I'll name "Rebecca" for the sake of anonymity to pick up "Claire" from the airport. Her plane arrived at midnight, and we had to drive through the heart of downtown to get there. It was a lot of  fun to catch up with "Rebecca," who I haven't had the chance to spend much time with recently. "Claire" was also fun to catch up with, as I'd missed her while she was away.
As the night came to a close, it occurred to me that this would be one of the last outings of this sort I'd have with my friends. Senior year is almost over, and next fall we're all spreading our wings and flying to very different locations. I may not see many of my closest friends more than during the summers when we're home, or even until it's time for a high school reunion. How could people so essential to my life become strangers almost overnight?
On the flipside, I will soon be heading off to college. Dorm life, independence, and a thousand other wonderful things are soon going to fill my life. All of these sacrifices, the friendships which will fade away or grow weaker, will make way for new things. I am so incredibly excited for these new things, but my heart breaks to think of losing any of the people I currently hold in my heart.
Bittersweet. That's what this is. I'm torn between the good and the bad in an exhausting battle. For better or for worse, things are changing. And with change comes a thousand mixed feelings I can't control.

Unimportant Rant

Okay, this rant I'm about to go on will be completely irrelevant to your lives. Nor will it have a lovely flow or intricately woven sentences. I've recently rewatched a couple of Harry Potter movies, and I've been left feeling quite emotional, so I'm going to get this out even though it's far less important than the social issues I've written about before now. Just warning you.
So I've been trying so very hard to grasp Dumbledore's logic in sending Harry to live with the Dursleys, and I just don't get it. I mean, yeah yeah love magic Lily's blood etc. But since Petunia didn't love Harry, because only her sister did, that magic can't be nearly as strong as Lily's  magic. Could this second hand love blood stuff really have been more powerful than whatever defensive charms an Auror or a member of the Order of the Phoenix could have conjured up? Then the second reason is that Harry would have gotten a big ego if he'd grown up knowing he was famous. HOWEVER, what about Remus Lupin?
Think about it for a moment. Lupin is already a social outcast because of his status, which would have helped Harry to feel less full of himself. Plus, Lupin was best friends with James. Like, I bet when he heard that Lily was pregnant he and Sirius would talk about being "uncles." Sirius would be the cool and irresponsible one who let Harry ride on his motorcycle and Lupin would be the down-to-Earth uncle that Harry could come talk to in times of distress when he didn't feel comfortable talking to his parents. Of course, after everything fell to crap when Lily and James died and Sirius went to Azkaban, this wouldn't have been possible. But couldn't Lupin have raised his best friend's kid as his own? Even without meeting Harry until he was 13, Remus became like a father figure to the boy. This would have been so perfect!

Sure, Lupin is a werewolf, which could have offered a few safety issues, but McGonagall could have babysat Harry once a month. (Let's be real: She felt a very strong maternal protectiveness over the boy, even if she rarely directly acknowledged it. She was against the idea of Harry going with the Dursleys from the beginning, and she made it her personal mission during Harry's fifth and sixth year to help him with his career goals. But I digress.)
So that was a waste of your time. And mine. But hopefully someone out there agrees with me. Next time I blog, I'll try to get back to the pressing issues in our society.

BGMC

Some of you may be familiar with a children's church program called BGMC, an acronym for Boys and Girls Missionary Challenge. The leader of the program will pick a different country every session (whether it be weekly, monthly, etc.) and describe to the children what's going on in the country. From popular foods to social issues faced in the country, it's actually a pretty cool way to get kids interested in other cultures.

However, this lovely program has a surprisingly destructive caveat.

You see, the focus is mainly on problems faced in a particular country, and what missionaries are doing to solve these. Learning about feeding the hungry and helping impoverished children go to school is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but it warps perspectives. Only
seeing this side of things can cause a child to be oblivious to the similarities held among people groups around the world, and to view other cultures with negativity. Seeing children in Ethiopia who live in garbage dumps can make the people of the country seem primitive.


As someone who's grown up with BGMC, I can honestly say that if it weren't for this program, I probably wouldn't have decided to study Intercultural Studies in college. There are some amazing benefits of learning about the rest of the world, including knowing facts about countries your peers have never even heard of. And, to be perfectly honest, there is an amount of knowledge about cultural differences which can be incredibly useful to know when dealing with someone of said culture. However, it would not be beneficial to anybody to pretend that there aren't any problems with the aftereffects of not only BGMC, but also potential repercussions from other programs teaching about other cultures in schools, communities, and anywhere else.

My family recently began hosting foreign exchange students. First from Spain, then from Mexico. One of the things which surprised me was how normal these people were. Average teenagers like myself. They listened to some of the same music as I, and loved hanging out with friends and getting coffee and so many other entirely normal things. Sure, there were cultural differences to learn about, but one thing appears to be the same across national and geographic borders: human nature.
People value relationships everywhere. Though different people have different standards for how affection is expressed, the core feelings are the same. Love doesn't have to be expressed with bouquets and chocolates to be valid.

Teenagers experience the emotions of growing up all around the world. Insecurities as their bodies change, the beginnings of understanding physical attraction, worry about belonging and being accepted. Competing with each other in games and giggling about who you find attractive are things which are not unique to typical western, first-world culture. It's important that when teaching children about cultural differences, we also teach them about the similarities. We are all human beings, and there are things which have connected us since the beginning of time. Growing up in a different environment with different resources and expectations can change a lot, but not everything.

I think that what doesn't change is more important than what does.

Maternity Leave

First, I'd like to start off by clarifying that this is not a pregnancy announcement. Actually, I'd like to rant a bit about how ridiculous the American system for maternity/paternity leave is.
According to a recent survey done by the United Nation's labor agency, only three out of the 185 countries it has data for do not supply cash benefits to women during maternity leave. One of these exceptions is the United States. In fact, the US is doing worse than Bangladesh, China, Iran, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Writer Claire Zillman for Fortune, a daily online newspaper written by and for Fortune 500 companies, says that women, "have the right to 12 weeks of leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act. But that leave isn’t paid. And the law only applies to employees who have worked for at least 12 months at a company with at least 50 employees."
So, if she hasn't worked at a company for more than a year, or if she works with a small business, a new mother isn't entitled to anything. Even if she is allowed the twelve weeks, she probably isn't going to get paid. This means that in families where the budget is tight, a newborn is likely separated from its mother during the day before reaching three months of age because momma had to head back to work. There are dozens of research endeavors led by hundreds of psychologists which suggest that babies need as much time bonding with both parents as possible. If a new mother decides to neglect finances for the good of her child's growth, it can often send the family into poverty. Zillman writes, "The Department of Labor survey found that about 15% of employees who were not paid or received partial pay while on leave turned to public assistance for help."
If you think that's bad (and I really hope you do) here's what's going on with paternity leave. According to Forbes writer Ana Swanson, 81 out of 185 countries extend some sort of paid leave for fathers. The US is not one of these.
Clearly, there are a lot of issues going on here. There needs to be greater assistance for new parents who are simply trying to raise their children. And for those who consider such an idea unfeasible, here's a little infographic to help explain just how far behind the "land of the free" is: